And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
