i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
