I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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