I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
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