I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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