This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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