from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
