his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
