it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
