It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
