I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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