Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
