Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize