I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
My penis needs a shock collar
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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