i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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