i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
