Your tits are I can't wait for
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
