so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
