"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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