Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
