hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Two words: blizzard sex
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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