I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
