It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
