We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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