I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
The beer is more important than you right now.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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