you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Randomize
