oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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