kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize