I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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