Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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