my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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