Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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