Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
