i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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