i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
