I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
