I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
