Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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