drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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