Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
