he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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