Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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