You're completely useless in the revolution.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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