he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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