I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
