she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
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The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
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Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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