I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
