I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
