You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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