Having a random hookup so left but love u
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
