I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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