i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
