You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
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as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
So many bounce houses so little time
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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