Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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