hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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