I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
