if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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