i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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