we have officially lost it.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
