It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
