she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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