you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
