Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
