Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
