She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
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