I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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