from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
